Too Late
by nikkiRA
Summary: Oneshot, Blackwater/ She remembers one time she had told him this. He stroked her face and told her failures are people who give up, and she didn’t give up.


**I own naught. **

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He hears him before he arrives, of course, but the frenzied thoughts jumping around in his head make him stay in the same place he is standing, trying to figure them out instead of heading outside to meet him. Jacob bursts through the door, panting from the run, and Edward just stands there, staring at him.

"I'm not sure I understand…" His voice trails off.

Jacob stares. "I love her."

Edward nods. "Yes, that much I got. But… why are you here?"

Jacob stares in confusion. "I wanted to tell you."

Edward smiles slightly. "I already knew, Jacob."

"Then… what?"

"She is better for you."

Jacob's face is still confused, but he smiles. He gestures toward the door. "May I?"

Edward smiles and nods, dismissing him. Jacob hurries out the door.

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Leah finds it funny that she isn't crying.

She's never been much of a crier. She can only remember one time when she has cried, really cried, loud, heart wrenching sobs, and that was upon learning of her father's death. She had been alone then. She hadn't cried at the funeral, hadn't cried afterwards, when people she didn't even know came up and gave her their apologies. She didn't cry as she held Seth, even as he sobbed into her shoulder. She didn't cry when Sam left her, didn't cry when he and Emily were engaged, didn't cry as her heart broke. She just didn't cry, as a general rule.

But shouldn't she be crying now? Wouldn't it be healthier? At a time like this, you should cry. Death was something you should always cry at.

Even if it were your own.

It's funny, really (Leah was finding a lot of things funny- that wasn't a good sign, was it?). So many things could happen with Sam, he could break her heart and marry her cousin and stomp repeatedly on her heart, but she had never once thought of this. It had never occurred to her.

But Jacob Black imprints and her life is over. Jacob Black imprints and there just isn't a reason anymore. Jacob Black imprints and suddenly she's sitting on her kitchen floor in a t-shirt (_his _t-shirt- he had left it there one day. Leah found that funny, too) and her underwear, a bottle of her mother's sleeping pills and whiskey sitting next to her.

Jacob Black imprints and her life is over. Literally.

She wonders if this will even work. She is a werewolf, after all. Will her body simply heal itself, making it as if nothing happened? Will this be ineffective? Will she be a failure even at killing herself?

Probably. She was a failure at everything else, wasn't she?

She remembers one time she had told him this. He stroked her face and told her failures are people who give up, and she didn't give up.

At that thought, Leah Clearwater broke out into uncontrollable laughter.

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Jacob runs as fast as he can, but he is still too late.

Turns out, it did work. It takes longer then it probably should, but it works nonetheless. So when Jacob bursts through the door of the Clearwater house (he is much too excited to knock) he doesn't see Leah sitting on the couch watching television, or at the kitchen table eating Corn Pops.

No, instead he sees her slumped on the ground, an empty pill bottle next to her, in his t-shirt and her underwear.

"Leah?" She doesn't answer. She doesn't move. Is she even breathing?

"Leah?" He calls again. Still nothing. He walks towards her, slowly, hoping she will pop up and smile, hoping she will just be sleeping, hoping he is dreaming.

He isn't.

"Leah, Leah what the hell? Leah…" His voice breaks as he gently turns her over. Her eyes are closed, and as he pushes her hair out of the way she is still beneath him. No movement, no breath.

"Leah… Leah, this isn't funny… Leah, get up. Now. I swear to God Leah, if you don't wake up…" He trails off as his brain finally puts two and two together, and then tears start to run down his face and into her hair as he holds her, holds her tightly to him and sobs over her lifeless body.

"Leah Leah Leah Leah Leah why?" He sobs as he puts his nose into her hair and smells the sweet smell of raspberries, as more tears drip into her hair.

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Seth Clearwater doesn't know something is up. He doesn't feel as if he has been broken, ripped in two, doesn't feel as if something has happened that will forever change his life. Shouldn't you feel something like that? But he doesn't. He doesn't know something is up until he walks in the front door and sees Jacob Black crouched over his sister.

At first, he thinks they are doing something else, something completely different, something he really doesn't want to see his sister doing, or even think about his sister doing. Then he hears what Jacob is muttering, and he desperately wishes they are doing something else.

"Leah, please, no…"

Seth can't find his voice. He opens his mouth to say something, but all that comes out is a squeak, too quiet for Jacob to hear.

"Leah, get up, please…"

This is not happening. This can not be happening. When he had left this morning, she had seemed perfectly fine, a little sullen maybe, but Leah was always sullen. When? Why?

"Jacob…" he finally squeaks out, and Jake looks up at him, his eyes rimmed red with tears and filled with pain and horror and guilt.

"Jacob… what the hell-" then he sees what is lying around Leah and Seth lets out a strangled scream as he bursts through the front door and phases, howling loudly. Then he waits, waits until he feels the presence of the others (Jake had made them join the original pack again, and Seth had never felt grateful of that until this moment).

_What's wrong kid?_ Embry.

_Seth? What's the problem?_ Jared.

_What's up? _Quil.

_This better be good._ Paul.

_Seth, what's the matter?_ Sam. Sam. Sam.

Brady, Collin, he waits until everybody is there, everybody but the one who really matters.

_You bastards, you've killed her. You've all killed her, you fucking heartless bastards. _And then, because he knows it is true- _we've all killed her._

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Sam tries to think of something to say.

Why? Of all the fucking people who could have said something, why pick him? Him, Jacob and Seth. Why not just Jake and Seth? Why does he have to speak? Leah hated him.

No, Leah didn't hate him. That was the problem.

"Leah Clearwater was kind, and gentle." Ha. Leah Clearwater was a bitchy, snotty girl who took pleasure in your pain. "She always cared about others, much more then herself." Ha. Leah Clearwater was a one man show. "She was smart, she was beautiful." Well, that was true, at least. Mind you, he doesn't mention that she was smarter then everyone else, and she knew it, doesn't mention how she was beautiful, yes, until she ripped you to shreds with her words and her glares. "Leah was… Leah was her own person. She will be dearly missed."

A more pathetic speech he has never heard, but what else can he say, other then generic words everyone knows aren't true but would never dare say that fact? He can't go up there and say that Leah Clearwater was a bitter, cynical bitch, can't say that she took to herself because no one wanted her around.

Just like he can't say that it was his fault she was like that.

He can't say that Leah Clearwater used to be all those things he had said. Can't say that she used to be kind, gentle, caring, that she used to be a pleasure to be around, that everybody loved her. Can't say that she had been madly in love with a boy who hadn't deserved her, can't say she had been betrayed by the one who had once snuck through her bedroom window and promised her they would get married. He can't say that he had made Leah what she had become, can't say that he had as much to do with her death as if he himself had shoved the pills down her throat and made her drink them down. Sam Uley was responsible for Leah, in everyway.

And look at what's happened.

When he sits down next to Emily, who is sobbing into a handkerchief, he can't bring himself to touch her, can't bring himself to comfort the one he loved more then anything, more then anyone, more then Leah. Because he's thinking, thinking of Leah, something he hasn't done in years.

He's thinking of the way she used to wear her hair, how it always smelled so good, how she would smile when she saw him. He was thinking of how she always knew just what he needed, whether it was a hug or a kiss or a slap on the head, how she never took any of his shit the way Emily does, how Leah would fight back. He thinks of the way her hips used to swish when she walked, thinks of her lips, thinks of the way she used to moan his name. He thinks of another lifetime, a much easier lifestyle, when you had a choice in who you fell in love with.

Emily cuddles up into his side, but he doesn't touch her.

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Seth is up next. He stares at all of them, looking each of them in the eye, long and hard, not speaking until he's sure he's looked everybody who knows the truth in the eye.

Then he says: "Leah did not deserve the life she was given," before stepping down and sitting next to his mother, who has done nothing but cry the whole time.

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Jacob is next. As he stands before the room, tears slide down his face as he turns toward the open casket and says the words he had been so anxious to say, says the words he had been running to tell her, says the words that would have saved her.

"I love you, Leah Clearwater. I love you more then anything. I love you so much that it hurts, and there's nothing that can stop that, nothing some stupid legend can prevent. Nothing can keep me away from you, Leah. I love you."

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He hears him before he arrives, of course, but the frenzied thoughts jumping around in his head make him stay in the same place he is standing, trying to figure them out instead of heading outside to meet him. Jacob bursts through the door, panting from the run, and Edward just stands there, staring at him.

"I'm not sure I understand…" His voice trailes off.

Jacob stares. "I love her."

Edward nods. "Yes, that much I got. But… why are you here?"

Jacob stares in confusion. "I wanted to tell you."

Edward doesn't smile. "I already knew, Jacob."

"Then… what?"

"I didn't for one moment imagine you would stay."

Jacob stares past Edward and into the house.

"Nessie…" Jacob worries. Edward is quick to assure him.

"She will be fine. She will be able to live without you."

It isn't said to be cruel, it is said to assuage Jacob's thoughts.

"Tell her I love her." Edward nods.

"Will you be able to live without her?" Edward asks him quietly. Jacob looks into the forest.

"No, I won't."

Edward doesn't need to read Jacob's thoughts to know he isn't talking about Renesmee.

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** Kind of morbid and deprssing, hmm? Ah well, maybe if you review I'll write a happier Blackwater.  
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